Skywalker Matrimony
by LVB
Summary: AU. Anakin and Padme discover something peculiar about their marriage on a romantic holiday. Interlude set after Father of the Bride.
1. The Holiday

**Skywalker Matrimony**

**Author:** LVB

**Disclaimer:** They belong to George Lucas and LucasFilm. If they belonged to me they would come out to play more often.

**Summary:** AU. Anakin and Padmé discover something peculiar about their marriage. Interlude set after _Father of the Bride_.

**Warnings:** The humour is a little racier in this fic and a little more schmoopy. I think that deserves a warning.

**A/N: **Quick, I know! I would like to thank Stephanie C for planting this idea in my head. I'll elaborate more on the idea next chapter. It's a 'What If' within my already established AU Skywalker Universe. Not the official sequel to FotB, more like an interlude. Kinda like the _Star Wars Christmas Special_ but with no Life Days ;)

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**Chapter One: ****The Holiday**

Today was what Anakin would consider a good day. Leaving behind the weekend from Sith's hell at Alderaan, Anakin had been glad to sweep his beautiful wife away for some time away from their kids. It wasn't that they didn't love their children; they just made them want to bang their heads against a wall…repeatedly. Now with Han and Leia settling into married life far, _far_ away from the two of them, Anakin felt like he didn't have to worry about anyone being kidnapped or emotionally tortured—particularly himself.

Being back on Coruscant certainly had its perks. For one thing, Han and Leia had "borrowed" Threepio for a while which meant Anakin would be able to sit and meditate in peace. Unfortunately that also meant Anakin would actually have to get up to fetch his own Holonews and lunch. He momentarily contemplated using the Force to bring him his coveted items—he was Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master and it would not have been very difficult.

_Laziness is of the Dark Side._

Sighing and not wanting to get lazy, or worse, _fat_, in his old age, Anakin resigned himself to the fact that he would have to get up. Groaning, he stood up and felt a muscle twitch in his back. Apparently back pain for the elderly did not even escape renowned Jedi Masters. Anakin scowled thinking about his wife who suffered from no such ailments, even though she was five years older than him. Anakin was very glad it was not common knowledge that his wife was in fact older than he was—he was sure the Holoreporters would have a field day with that information. In fact, most people assumed Anakin was the older one. Padmé's face showed no signs of age or stress and Anakin was yet to find a revealing wrinkle on her body. Anakin however, was sure he looked at least a decade older than he was. Even without the intuitive knowledge he possessed of the Force, he knew it was due to being the father of twins who managed to find themselves in all sorts of trouble that their father always seemed to rescue them from.

Hunting for something to eat in their kitchen, Anakin frowned as he caught sight of the Holonet that was strategically placed next to the dining table. They were playing another "Chancellor Exclusive" story. Padmé had been the Chancellor for years now—if they hadn't gotten any dirt on her yet, he was confident that they wouldn't. That didn't stop them from reporting all sorts of ridiculous untruths. For example, this week the current gossip was that the illustrious Chancellor Padmé Amidala Skywalker once had a sordid love affair with a younger man. Anakin couldn't help but smirk as he heard the reporter state, "I wonder what Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, husband to the Chancellor would think of this?"

_I think that she should continue to have a love affair with her extremely sexy and in no way aging younger Jedi lover…_

Anakin was so engaged in the idea of having an affair with his own wife that he didn't even notice her sneak up behind him. "I don't know why you still insist on watching this poodoo," a stern voice from behind interrupted him. He turned to come face to face with his beautiful wife, ridiculous make-up and all.

"Milday," he said and suavely lifted her hand and gently kissed it. Padmé's face softened and Anakin knew she would be in the palm of his hand. "You're home early." Padmé sighed and sat down next to Anakin, who automatically moved his artificial hand to massage her shoulders. She moaned in response and this bought a huge smile to Anakin's face.

"What happened?" he asked, genuinely concerned for his wife.

"Anakin I need a holiday. A nice long holiday; one without children, servants, droids, politics and especially no holoreporters!" she said, rubbing her temples as Anakin continued to massage her back, now with both hands.

"If you're worried about that stupid Holonet report, don't be. They don't even realize you are married to a…" he leant forward and kissed her neck, "younger," he kissed the other side of her neck, "sexy" and he pulled back listening to her gasp, "man."

She turned to look at him crossly. "That wasn't fair," she protested.

He took her hand and pulled her to stand up with him. A really spontaneous idea suddenly hit him. The Force seemed to be on his side finally as his face lit up with realization that he was having _a plan_. Not only was it a plan, but it involved something romantic. Romance meant a happy wife and a happy wife meant a very, very happy husband.

"Padmé, why don't we take a holiday?"

Silence.

Silence wasn't good. Silence meant she was _thinking_.

"A holiday? Now? Anakin, I'm the Chancellor of the Republic! I can't simply drop everything to go away on a holiday! I have things to do, people to see…"

Anakin rolled his eyes as his wife continued her tirade. He turned around and walked into their bedroom, her following him and wiping off her make-up, still talking.

"…Bail cannot handle the Bironian Delegation on his own, especially with Leia away. Mon Mothma is away on sick leave and I have meetings scheduled with the Queen of Naboo and…"

She noticed him packing. He was haphazardly throwing her very precious, very ceremonial and very _expensive_ gowns into a worn old suitcase. "Anakin what are you doing?!" she screeched, frantically re-arranging her clothes the way she liked them, neat and tidy. Anakin grinned and moved to his side of the wardrobe, yanking out several Jedi tunics and chucking them on top of hers in the suitcase.

"I'm packing."

Clearly Padmé's common sense had flown out the window if she was unable to see that. Padmé glared at him and Anakin suddenly had a funny feeling that he had married a mind reader.

"I can see that," she replied icily and rearranged his clothes next to hers in an orderly manner. "What for?"

"Milady, I am about to commit a crime against the Republic and kidnap the Chancellor," Anakin replied and proceeded to lift his wife over his shoulder, levitating their suitcase behind him. Ever the independent woman, Padmé shrieked and began to beat her fists against his back.

"Let me down!"

Anakin had two options. He could either A, let his wife down, listen to her lecture him on the finer points of not acting like an Bantha and slowly go crazy or B, keep walking and hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him for kidnapping her. He was not stupid…he was going to go with B.

"You Madam Skywalker, are about to have the time of your life."

--

Anakin was sure Padmé would start speaking to him soon. Maybe. Eventually. He had contacted the Chancellor's office on Padmé's behalf and informed them the Chancellor was taking an extended leave of absence. He had then contacted Obi-Wan and informed him that the great Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master extraordinaire was not to be disturbed as he was on official husband business. Obi-Wan had laughed and wished him good luck.

Padmé was sulking in the quarters of the Skywalker family ship the _Coruscant Wings_ while Anakin was busy scrolling through an enormous list of possible honeymoon destinations. **Kessel**: too dodgy. **Naboo**: too obvious. **Mustufar**: too hot and something about rivers of lava made Anakin shiver**. Tatooine**: no.

Anakin had lived on Tatooine long enough to know the sand that made his home planet unique had a tendency of finding every nook, cranny and crevice to embed itself in. And the activities he planned to be doing on said planet would involve the exposure of his own and Padmé's nooks, crannies and crevices to be exposed.

Anakin finally took note of a system named K'Larna. While not being close to the Coruscant centre, it provided enough distance between the Skywalkers and the rest of the world. It had a very secluded resort planet and one of the highest levels of security apart from Coruscant itself. Anakin frowned as he read on the datapad that all weapons would have to be checked in with security upon entering the facility.

That would mean he would be lightsaberless, for the entire two weeks he was planning. If Anakin had been a lesser Jedi he would have mumbled his discontent.

_A Jedi is nothing without his weapon_

_A Jedi is nothing but a man with a fancy laser-sword __and delusions of grandeur_

Ignoring Han's influence in his head, Anakin decided that he would be able to live for two weeks without his favourite accessory and proudly announced to his wife, "We are going to K'Larna."

_And for once, I don't have a bad feeling about this…_

_Famous Last Words_

_The last words said by a person before the inevitable happens, often creating a deeply ironic underpinning to the original statement. For example, Obi-Wan remarking, "What's the worst that can happen?" and immediately falling into a pit of gundarks. _


	2. The Discovery

_Please see first chapter for disclaimer and other info_

**A/N: **Yay, update! Unfortunately my computer is about to die on me so please be patient with the forthcoming chapter. This is dedicated to Stephanie C for the original idea and to my loyal beta Toni, who still needs to educate me on toyboys vs. boytoys ;)

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** Chapter Two: The Discovery**

Anakin had finally convinced Padmé that it had been absolutely necessary for him to kidnap her. It was a seven-hour flight to K'Larna and they had simply enjoyed each other's company. Padmé, ever the organizer, had taken a look at K'Larna's security and made a list of everything they would and more importantly _wouldn't_ need.

Padmé had discovered there was no precedent for bringing Jedi onto the planet. Due to tight security, there had never been a need to have Jedi on the planet. Lighsabers were not on the list of banned items. However, Padmé had a sneaking suspicion that if Anakin turned up with his weapon of choice, they would be arrested. A Jedi Master being arrested would not promote a positive image for the Jedi. Nor would it project the Vice Chancellor of the Republic in a good light. Anakin was a great husband but when it came to the Holonet, he turned into a dark Sith Lord wanting revenge. Too many times they had turned on the Holonet to see one ridiculous story or another.

The time the _Bothan Times Channel_ reported that Padmé was having an affair with Holodrama actor Chanz Hortell, former Coruscant Bachelor of the Year, Anakin had mustered all his resources to bring them down. The _Bothan Times Channel_ did not exist anymore and Padmé had not heard of Chanz Hortell since his name was publically defamed for conducting 'indecent affairs with a Bantha'.

Getting back on track, Padmé understood that all items of weaponry had to be checked in upon entering the facility. Both she and Anakin had to provide official identification, including birth certificates and their marriage documentation. Padmé had downloaded all their information into her datapad. In an hour when they finally landed, they would be ready. Smiling, she went through the K'Larna Resort information she had downloaded.

The resort itself was magnificent. It took up the majority of the fourth planet in the system. Having the highest clearance in the entire galaxy, Padmé planned to use her very hard earned money and status to get the Grand Honeymoon Suite Resort. The towering mansion stood on its own piece of land. Large walls protected the land and no less than twelve guards would be posted to ensure their privacy. Despite her kidnapping, Padmé finally conceded that it might just be the best idea Anakin had ever had.

--

Anakin smoothly landed the _Coruscant Wings_ into the K'Larna spaceport. The control staff had been more than happy when Anakin had submitted his Priority One Chancellor clearance, once again thanking the Force he was married to the most powerful woman in the galaxy. It took a lot for Anakin to admit that anybody, especially his own wife, was more powerful than him but humility was a lesson Anakin had learned well enough in his own marriage.

Padmé's shrewd political mind beat Anakin's handle of the Force in every marital battle. That and she had the ability to make him sleep on the _very uncomfortable_ couch night after night. That was probably why Jedi were forbidden to marry; their cockiness often landed them a one-way ticket out of the bedroom.

This next fortnight however would not see Anakin being anywhere but in his wife's bedroom. Anakin smiled excitedly as Padmé collected their identification datapad and he collected their bag. He had the sudden urge to drop the bag and pick up his wife and carry her off the ship, much like he had carried her when they were first married twenty years ago. Back then they had been so clueless, he being only nineteen. He was just a boy when he married the woman of his dreams but now he was a man. He was a powerful Jedi Master, a father and an extremely loving husband. Nothing could be more perfect. Except that Anakin had to leave his beloved lightsaber aboard the ship.

He frowned as he removed the blade from its hilt. He had spent the better part of his life with this lightsaber. They had been through a lot together—from decapitating Sith Lords to nearly decapitating son-in-laws. He had even named him—Stevie. "Stevie Skywalker" would now be parted from his Master.

Padmé groaned in annoyance as Anakin gave his lightsaber a discreet kiss and placed it in a secret hiding spot next to the gangway. He gave Stevie one last look and prayed to the Force that he wouldn't regret his decision to leave him aboard.

--

After falling over themselves to ensure the Chancellor got out of the spaceport safely, Anakin and Padmé found themselves at the security check-in. Being the gallant husband he was, instead of dumping all the boring work on Padmé like he usually did, he grabbed the datapad from her and marched up to the first security terminal. Behind the screen stood an administration droid. Anakin smiled recalling his basic Jedi training.

_The Jedi were able to manipulate the weak minded. _

As the Chosen One, Anakin could dismantle the droid using just his mind and that brought him great satisfaction.

"Names and flight clearance please," the droid asked in a voice scarily similar to Threepio.

_And I thought I had left the golden god of irritation with the pirate and the princes__s._

He gestured to his wife. "This is Padmé Skywalker, Chancellor of the Republic. I am Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master. Our flight clearance is 00001." He watched as the droid input the information into the terminal. "We wish to have to the Honeymoon Suite Resort for a period of fourteen standard days."

The droid made a strange humming noise as he input the information. Anakin became increasingly impatient and began to tap his foot, a habit he had picked up from his darling wife. Glaring at him, Padmé shook her head. Anakin recognized the look as the one she gave their children when they were misbehaving. He straightened his back and thrust the datapad at the droid. "Here are our other documents."

"Please wait until you are spoken to," the droid said emotionlessly. Did the droid seriously just snap at the great Anakin Skywalker? He had fought many droids in his lifetime. It wouldn't take very much to grab Stevie and show the droid who was boss. As Anakin went to grab Stevie and execute his brilliant, if not unoriginal, plan, he realized with great sadness that his beloved lightsaber was hidden away on their ship.

_Shavit. _

"Master Skywalker," the droid began, curiously without the incessant humming in the background. "It appears there is a problem with your additional documentation."

"Problem?" Anakin enquired, a frown appearing on his face as he moved closer towards the droid. Anakin Skywalker didn't have _problems_—he had disasters. This time Padmé moved next to him. He could feel through the Force that she was offended the droid would insinuate her input would be faulty somehow.

"What do you mean a problem?" Padmé demanded. "I compiled that list myself. I have prepared everything."

"Your additional documentation is not complete, Mistress Skywalker," the droid reiterated, making Padmé's face turn an interesting shade of red. Anakin would have laughed at his wife, but fearing instant death or worse, a holiday sleeping on the couch, he resisted the temptation. "Mistress and Master Skywalker, it appears that your marriage certificate is invalid."

This time, Anakin could feel his own face turn red. "What do you mean not valid?" he snapped at the droid.

"Invalid—defunct, not legal, null and void, unfounded, possibly a forgery…" the droid continued.

"I KNOW what invalid means!" Anakin snapped at the insinuation that he was stupider than he looked. "My wife is the Chancellor of the kriffing Republic, of course it is not a forgery!" He turned to Padmé who looked equally surprised. "What is he talking about?" Anakin hissed at his startled wife.

"I have no idea," she confessed, snatching the datapad off the offending counter. "Excuse me, Three-Whatevertherestofyournumbersare—" Padmé started, ungraciously shoving the datapad back at the droid. "On my birth certificate it shows my name, my life day date and my change of name due to marriage," she said triumphantly.

_How the mighty do fall…_

"Mistress Skywalker, all this documentation proves is that you legally _changed_ your name to Skywalker. According to this, your marriage certificate has not been registered with the Galactic Coruscant Registry of Inner and Outer Rim Births, Deaths and Marriages therefore iy is not legally binding and a forgery."

"A FORGERY?" Anakin bellowed, feeling those Sith Lord tendencies rising again. Was the droid seriously suggesting what he thought he was suggesting? That he and Padmé had been living in sin for twenty years and he was nothing but a younger Jedi boytoy instead of a loyal Jedi husband?

It had to be a joke. A sick, sick joke.

"Whoever you are, you are not the Chancellor or Jedi Master Skywalker." The droid pressed a button and suddenly, a very loud alarm began to sound.

"Sithspit," Anakin heard his beautiful wife say. He had no time to be impressed as suddenly guards came up behind them and grabbed both their hands. Taking the tactful, more diplomatic route, Padmé simply twisted around to address the guard. "This is simply a clerical error on my behalf, gentlemen. I am Chancellor Padmé Skywalker…" In response, the guard simply pulled on her restraints harder.

_Nobody messes with the wife of a Jedi. _

Using all the connections to the Force he could muster, Anakin screamed "Get your hands OFF my wife!" The two guards attempting to apprehend them went flying into the wall, being knocked unconscious. Beside them, the administration droid suddenly burst into flame, showering them with pieces of his covering and wiring.

The alarm began to sound again and Padmé groaned as she saw the numerous K'Larna guards making their way towards them.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Anakin uttered as he decided that leaving Stevie Skywalker, his beloved lightsaber, on board the _Coruscant Wings_, was probably not the best idea he had ever had.


	3. The Disaster

_Please see the first chapter for disclaimer and other info_

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who spotted the boo-boo last chapter. Err, I was just testing you all. Sure...Well anyway, it's fixed and I was kind enough to churn this out. And OT, everyone should go and see the latest HP movie pronto!**  
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Chapter Three: The Disaster**

Anakin knew that if he really wanted to get out of here, he would be able to. He was the Chosen One after all. After his spectacular display of husbandly love, the guards had unceremoniously thrown both him and Padmé into a cell. Padmé had thrown a few very unladylike words at the guards and also a few directed at him. Anakin never knew he married a woman who swore like a Hutt. "This is _your_ fault," she stated as if she were about to argue in the Senate, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I had the situation under control and there you went, exploding things with the Force!"

Anakin lowered his head sheepishly and shrugged in response. "They were hurting you," he said in his defence.

Padmé indignantly placed her hands on her hips. "I am the Chancellor of the Republic! I had it under CONTROL until you had to show off your _amazing_ Force abilities. Fancy blowing up a defenceless administration droid and knocking guards unconscious! Anakin Skywalker, do you realise we are now going to be on every Holonet channel in the galaxy? Once again, this is all YOUR FAULT!"

Anakin found himself utterly speechless. Padmé was mad. She was more than mad—she was furious, irate, enraged, fuming and livid all at once. If he didn't fear for his very life he would have found it extremely sexy. He put his head in his hands and wished he had actually used his brain for once.

Jedi acted on instinct.

Anakin Skywalker managed to make the noble Jedi art look ridiculous and foolish all at once.

"I'm sorry," he offered weakly as Padmé sighed and sat next to him, staring at the bars that held them captive. "If it's any consolation I could break us out of here at any time. But I am not going to. I am going to stay here and face the consequences."

Anakin was sure he heard Padmé snort but quickly dismissed the thought. Chancellors of the Republic did not snort...they elegantly allowed unwanted sound to escape through their nose. The K'Larna guards obviously believed their identities to be false. They had left them here over four standard hours ago, undoubtedly contacting the Republic to ascertain the Chancellor's whereabouts. He could tell them where she was—right next to him fidgeting.

_And all because of one stupid document..._

Remembering the reason for his anger, Anakin suddenly sat upright. "Padmé?" he asked laying a hand on his wife as she held her own head in her hands, resigned to her embarrassing fate with the Holonet.

_No, it couldn't be possible. The droid was wrong, hence why it was blown into a million pieces. _

"Could it be possible?" he asked timidly, not wanting Padmé to start screaming at him again. Instead of starting another fight, Padmé lifted her head and looked into his eyes. Instinctively he reached out and softly stroked the side of her face.

"I checked Anakin," she said, her voice tinged with sadness. "When we made our marriage public and I was voted the Chancellor, I had everything checked to make sure nobody could fault me—nobody could fault our family. How could I have missed this?"

He leant in and kissed her softly. Had he really been "living in sin" with the Chancellor of the Republic for twenty years—had their children really become nothing but a product of a sordid love affair? He wasn't sure that would sit well with either Luke or Leia. They had enough trouble accepting the fact their parents were still intimate, let alone were engaging in secret and illegal methods of marriage and reproduction.

"It doesn't matter," Anakin said pulling away from Padmé. "We will fix this." Padmé smiled and gently squeezed his hand, happy to find it was his real one. While she loved his bionic hand for all sorts of unmentionable reasons, there was nothing better than the feeling of flesh comforting flesh. It would be okay. If not, the Skywalker name would become Bantha fodder.

--

Luke rolled onto his side and crashed into a warm lump.

Mara.

Luke smiled to himself as he shifted in his bed and readjusted himself next to the sleeping mass of his red haired girlfriend. Luke had been astounded when Mara had accepted his invitation to Leia's wedding. With the commotion on Alderaan, Luke was surprised when she had arrived on time and even willingly met his father.

The great Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master and Chosen One and striker of fear in many a potential in-law's heart. There was not much Anakin Skywalker could not do. However being sensitive and tactful when it came to his children's happiness was not one his finer points. Luke loved his parents; honestly, there were just a little...

_Insane?_

...overprotective.

Their family was too famous for his liking. Having a Chancellor for a mother, a Senator for a sister and a Jedi Master for a father meant he had a lot to live up to. He was confident he could do it—as long as the rest of the galaxy and the Holonet left them in peace. As his mind wandered over the infamy of the Skywalkers and the possibility of introducing Mara into the insanity, the loud and intrusive noise of his personal commlink erupted.

Groaning, he lifted himself out of the bed, careful not to wake his slumbering beast of a girlfriend. The hour was still early and very few people would ever contact him so early for fear of death. He grabbed the offending object and croakily answered, "Hello?"

He was welcomed with his twin sister's screeching voice. "Luke have you been watching the Holonet?" she screamed, her voice sharp enough to split a Rancor's ears.

"No Leia, I just woke up," he snapped, closing the door to his bedroom as not to wake Mara. "More reports on your lavish Alderaanian wedding?" he snickered and made his way to the Holonet access point.

"Hey kid—you better turn it on," Han's voice drifted out of the commlink. For both Han and Leia to be comming him so early in the morning, something had to be wrong. Frowning, he turned on the Holonet, accessing the first channel that came to view.

"Which channel?" he asked.

"All of them," was Leia's reply as the commlink cut out.

"_Breaking News story. __**Coruscant Daily**__ has just received reports of an arrest made on two individuals posing as Chancellor Padmé Skywalker and her husband Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker on the luxury resort planet of K'Larna. Reports claim the couple tried to override security with a fraudulent marriage certificate as identification. The couple landed using the Chancellor's Priority One code and reports also say the Skywalkers' personal ship, __**Coruscant Wings**__ was docked at the planet's spaceport. The offending individuals put up a struggle and were apprehended almost five standard hours ago. Both the Jedi Temple and the Chancellor's office refused to comment..._

Luke's eyes grew wide as he rushed to replay the message his mother had left for him.

"Luke honey, it's your mother. Your father and I have decided to take an impromptu vacation. If you or your sister needs us, we will be on K'Larna, the resort planet..."

Luke didn't need to hear anything else. It was blatantly obvious that the couple arrested on K'Larna were not Skywalker imposters. They were in fact his parents.

_Kriff. _

_--_

_Twelve hours. _

Anakin stared at the wall and wondered how many seconds it would take for him to cut through it with his lightsaber. Once again, Anakin thought about his beloved friend hidden away on the _Coruscant Wings_. If the guards had ransacked the ship and found the lightsaber, then perhaps they would finally believe that he really was Anakin Skywalker. It wasn't as if K'Larna was a backwater planet, much like Tatooine. They had high levels of security and up-to-date technology. How was it then, that they did not recognise his face? He had been on every Holonet channel as the poster boy for the Jedi—the Hero without Fear. Surely he hadn't aged past recognition? He was only fourty-three...ish.

Aside from their obvious lack of interest in anyone popular, how could they not realise his beautiful "pretend" wife was the Chancellor of the Republic?

_And I thought I was stupid._

Padmé now sat across from him. She stared into space. Anakin knew the distant look. It was one of plotting and scheming. He had seen her plan out so many risky adventures, including their own secret wedding.

_And look how that turned out. _

A thought crossed his mind. Admittedly it was his fault they had ended up manhandled the way they were. But he distinctly remembered Padmé saying _"I'll take care of it."_ The trusting nineteen year old Jedi padawan in him believed that Padmé could do no wrong. Now, twenty years of marriage told him something completely different. Padmé _could _do wrong and for once it really wasn't his fault.

"You said you would take care of it," Anakin blurted out, disrupting Padmé from her sinister politician plotting. She raised her eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, crossing her arms.

_Fighting stance. Attack. _

"You said you would take care of it," he repeated, crossing his own arms.

_Retaliation. Defence. _

"What is that supposed to mean?" Padmé demanded, leaning forward.

_Invitation. Bring it on. _

"When we got married that's what you said to me. You said, _'I'll take care of it.'_"

_Game on. _

"I organised the Holy Man! I filed all our paperwork, under a stressful veil of secrecy I may add, Anakin Skywalker," she snapped. She only used his full name when she was really irritated. "I took care of everything. It was because of me we even got married!" Padmé's face took on a shade of red. She was getting mad. There was a point of return at that moment in the argument. Anakin could either buckle under the fierce glare of the Chancellor of the Republic or he could stand his ground like a man.

Anakin Skywalker took the foolish option. Anakin Skywalker stood his ground like a man.

"Well Padmé NABERRIE," he said stressing her maiden name. He noticed her eyes glowed fiercely. For a brief moment, he could have sworn she was of the Dark Side. "It seems that the great politician stuffed up the paperwork and now, we're in jail because of it. I wouldn't exactly call that being taken care of would you?"

Padmé stood and walked over to Anakin, poking a finger into his chest. In retaliation he stood up, looming over her. "How DARE you blame me for this!" she screeched, her Chancellor demeanour gone. Anakin would have laughed at the shift from Padmé the Chancellor to Padmé the Crazy Wife would it not result in his impending death.

He looked defiantly down at her. Even with her shorter stature, he was sure to onlookers she still looked the most menacing out of the pair. "You blamed me simply for defending your honour! Had I let them manhandle you, you STILL would have blamed me!"

Padmé scoffed as she poked him again. Finding her poking irritating, Anakin poked her back in the arm. This was absurd—he didn't really want to fight her. But now that he was here, he had nothing to lose. There was no couch to sleep in a jail cell.

"Padmé Amidala Naberrie you are only angry because for once it IS YOUR FAULT and you can't blame this on one me!"

A loud booming voice interrupted their fight. They both turned to the source of the noise and found a guard standing at their cell.

"You have a visitor."


	4. The Rescue

_Please see first chapter for disclaimer and other info_

**A/N: **In celebration of graduating today and receiving a Bachelor of Arts (English Literatures and History) I present this to you all. I am immensely proud of myself as I hope you all are of me.

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Chapter Four: The Rescue**

Both Padmé and Anakin stared at the guard until it occurred to Anakin that somebody had come to their rescue. "Who is it?" he demanded, making his way to the bars and holding them. This perfected his look as docile prisoner. Padmé sighed loudly and crossed her arms, waiting for the inevitable. The guard simply motioned for the elusive visitor to enter the room. Anakin's eyes lit up as his son entered the room.

"Luke!" Padmé said, dropping her aggressive stance in relief. She joined Anakin and smiled as Luke made his way to the bars.

"For imposters you two sure do look like my parents," Luke joked. "And from the amount of screaming I just heard, you certainly sound like them too." Padmé had the grace to look embarrassed but Anakin kept his head held high, ignoring the good-natured jibes from his son. Luke's face then turned serious. "Seriously guys, what happened here? There are reports all over the Holonet that imposters were being detained."

"The Holonet has caught wind of this? KRIFF!" swore Anakin, ignoring the glare from Padmé.

"Dad, where's your lightsaber?" Luke asked curiously. "Weren't you always the one that told me a Jedi's weapon was his life?"

"That was Obi-Wan. All I said to you was to keep your lightsaber with you or something bigger than you will eat you." Anakin ran a hand through his hair. "And Stevie is on the ship," he admitted sheepishly.

"You said that to our son?" Padmé interrupted forcefully. "I might as well have married a crazy man from Kessel!"

Turning from Luke, he remembered his previous argument with Padmé. "Turns out you didn't marry me in the first place."

_Anakin Skywalker's Galactic Dictionary_

_Awkward: The act of feeling insecure and out of place due to extenuating circumstances. For example, continuing an argument in front of your children about why you were the Chancellor of the Republic's lover thereby admitting aforementioned child was a product of a sordid and illegal affair. _

Anakin felt awkward for only a moment. After the words had escaped from his mouth, having completely bypassed his brain, he witnessed something so rarely seen before. Padmé had tears in her eyes. Anakin had made her cry.

Trying to take control of the situation, she turned around to face Luke, angrily wiping the tears from her face. Luke shot his father a negative Force-wave, successfully making Anakin feel like the biggest Sith Lord in the galaxy.

"What happened?" Luke asked, taking his mother's hand through the bars.

"Everything was fine until we went to the security check-point," Padmé started. "It turned out when the administration droid found an error in our marriage certificate. Your father and I are not legally married Luke."

Luke looked confused for a moment. "An administration droid? I didn't see one of those when I came in."

Not wanting to aggravate the situation with Padmé, Anakin decided to communicate silently with his son through the Force.

_I blew it up. _

"You blew it UP?" Luke said out loud, startling Padmé.

"It was an accident." Anakin said weakly in his defence, realising that he didn't actually have one.

"That is why we were arrested. You mentioned the Holonet? Has my office issued a statement regarding my whereabouts?" Padmé asked, going from crazy wife back to Chancellor. Once again admiring the change in demeanour, Anakin stood back and let the politician work her magic.

"Both your office and the Jedi Temple have refused to comment. Nobody but Leia and I knew of your real whereabouts," Luke supplied. Padmé nodded, working out a plan in her head.

"So the only thing that has leaked is that two people _pretending_ to be us have been arrested. Yes, this will work to our advantage. Once your father and I get things sorted here we simply need to issue our own statement about our whereabouts...Naboo on a retreat or perhaps Tatooine visiting your father's family. Alderaan..."

A loud bickering coming from the doorway interrupted Padmé's tirade. All three Skywalkers craned their necks to spot the one and only Leia Solo arguing with the guard posted at the door. "I am Senator Leia Solo of Alderaan and I DEMAND you let me in to interrogate the prisoners!"

"I am sorry Senator but the detainees already have one visitor, Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker."

A second voice piped up, "Listen, my wife is a very powerful Senator so I suggest you let go of your pompous only-a-mother-could-love attitude and let the lady through." Han Solo. Anakin mentally smacked himself for putting himself in a position where his fate depended on Han Solo. Then surprisingly, a third voice joined the chorus.

"You WILL let us through to visit the detainees." Anakin faintly recognised the female voice. Judging by the red blush that suddenly appeared on Luke's face it could only be one person. Mara Jade: girlfriend extraordinaire.

"I will let you through to visit the detainees," the guard replied, moving to allow the three new visitors through. Leia led the way, purposefully bumping into the guard as she made her way. "Thanks," she replied sarcastically and ran towards the bars.

Mara and Han remained against the wall, Padmé eyeing the former as her daughter grabbed her hand through the bars. "Why haven't you busted out of here?" she quickly asked Anakin. He threw his hands up in response.

"I was trying to be civil and gentlemanly!" he replied, ignoring the smug look on Han's face in the corner. "Or I may have left my lightsaber on the _Coruscant Wings."_

"But Dad didn't you always say, keep your lightsaber with you otherwise..."

"Okay that's quite enough Leia," Anakin snapped not wanting Padmé to hurt him for being a terrible father.

"Well Paps, you and Mom have certainly gotten into a mess. Good thing Leia and I happened to be watching the Holonet when the story came up," Han remarked, enjoying this far too much for Anakin's liking.

Something unnerved Anakin about the extra addition to the family reunion. He had seen the look Padmé had given Mara as she walked in. It was the same look he had once given Han. A smile threatened to creep up and he battled it with every fibre of his being. Now was not the time to bask in the scowling glory of Padmé Skywalker, the mother-in-law.

"We've spoken to the guards outside. They have agreed to let the 'imposters' into Jedi custody," Leia said. "As long as there is a Jedi for each of you and I am present, we will all be free to leave on the condition that you two be prosecuted according to Republic law and never be allowed to return to K'Larna again."

Anakin turned to Mara. "You are a Jedi?" he asked, noticing the lack of a lightsaber. He could feel the Force emanating from her but as he had not seen her at the Temple he had disregarded her potential Jedi status.

Mara smirked in response. "Something like that," she replied dryly. "Now if you Skywalkers don't mind, I would like to get off this rock sometime soon."

Luke smiled apologetically to his parents. "We'll be right back. We're just going to get you signed out. We'll have to take you in cuffs unfortunately."

"Great, just perfect." Anakin muttered under his breath. Mara, Luke and Leia left, leaving a very smug looking Han to guard them.

"Thank you for coming Han," Padmé said appreciatively. "Both Anakin and I appreciate it."

He and Padmé clearly had different ideas on what _appreciate _meant. Sure, if _to appreciate_ meant to rue the day something like this happened, then yes, Anakin Skywalker DID appreciate it.

"Not gonna thank me, Dad?"

Of all the ungrateful things Han Solo had ever done, this was the worst. The amount of times he had flown halfway across the galaxy to rescue his sorry behind and this was the way he repaid him. As soon as he was reunited with Stevie, somebody was going to get a limb hacked off.

"Thank you Han," Anakin said through gritted teeth.

Moments later Mara stormed in, holding two pairs of cuffs. Behind her trailed the guard. "Nice job you did on the droid," she commented as the guard opened the door. "Thanks," Anakin replied, turning around as his hands were placed in cuffs alongside his wife.

Moving behind Padmé, Mara put her hand on her shoulder. "By the way, Your Excellency, I'm Mara Jade. It's an honour to meet you."

Luke and Leia joined them and Luke took his place behind his father. "Thank you, we can take it from here," Leia snapped at the guard, leading the "detainees" out of the jail cell.

Anakin felt his cuffs become loose as Luke gently manipulated them with the Force. Mara did the same to Padmé.

"We came here on the _Falcon_," Luke said as he shoved his father in front of the guards for show.

"You're not too old to be smacked," Anakin hissed and felt Luke try not to laugh.

"Dad I managed to get the ship released into our custody but the two of you are not allowed to fly it," Leia said apologetically as she and Han walked in front of the quartet.

"Then who is going to fly it?" Anakin demanded, fighting the urge to break out of the cuffs.

As they reached the spaceport, Han walked towards the direction of the _Coruscant Wings_. "Me."

"You will not fly my ship!" Anakin yelled, causing other visitors to look at them.

"Anakin, you're causing a scene!" Padmé hissed, reverting back to crazy wife mode.

"Padmé, he is going to do something to my ship," Anakin whined, feeling the need to stamp his foot and pout much like Leia had done in her youth.

"I am sorry Dad but that's the only way the _Wings _gets off K'Larna," Luke said.

"Can I at least have Stevie?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"No," Leia said sternly, sounding eerily like her mother.

Anakin sighed knowing he had lost the battle. In defeat, he hung his head down low and ignored the whispers of the onlookers, the smirks of his children and the death glare of his 'pretend wife'. What was to come was even worse—the decision he and Padmé were going to have to make.


	5. The Conclusion

_Please see first chapter for disclaimer and other info_

**A/N: **So we've finally reached the end of the story. I hope everybody enjoyed it! This is not the end of the series however so keep your eyes peeled. Sorry it took a while I got caught up with HP mania (how freaking AWESOME was HP7??) Enjoy :)

* * *

** Chapter Five: The Conclusion**

The trip home remained blissfully uneventful. There were no exploding parts of the ship, no crazy pirate attacks and no son-in-laws to make the trip more exhausting and humiliating that he needed it to be. He had sought his own solitude in the cockpit. Upon entering the ship, Padmé had made sure to go in the opposite direction from him. In fact, Anakin knew that she was looking for the place that was farthest from him on the _Falcon_. Not that he could blame her. Even Anakin wasn't exactly his biggest fan right now, which was an extreme change of heart for the Jedi Master extraordinaire.

Leia, the dutiful daughter had followed her mother but not before scowling at her father. She had also exercised her Skywalker Force-talents, screeching in his head '_This is your fault!'_ Anakin wished the women of his family would come up with some new material. He was sick of hearing it. The battle of his conscience had begun.

_She's right you know_, Good Anakin reprimanded him.

_It's her fault too_, Bad Anakin snapped.

_You should have been a better husband, apologise and you might save your own Bantha hide_, Good Anakin lamented.

_Liar! She will leave you and you will have to live with Obi-Wan_, Bad Anakin yelled.

Anakin shuddered at the thought the more evil part of his conscience presented. Is that what his life would come to—growing even older with only his Master at his side? There were enough rumours about him and Obi-Wan around without the image of two old men living together planted in their minds.

The _Millennium Falcon_ was small enough for him to feel the emotions his children were projecting. Leia felt sympathetic and Luke felt amused by it all. Anakin felt stupid after his children had rescued him. He had spent the better part of twenty years protecting his kids to the best of his Jedi ability and its turned out he was the one that needed rescuing and possibly a swift kick to the backside.

_Well do you want to grow old alone_? Good Anakin asked.

The answer was a Force-deafening NO.

As Anakin stood up, ready to face Padmé, he couldn't help but imagine the two sides of his conscience. Good Anakin had just challenged Bad Anakin to a lightsaber duel and emerged victorious. Anakin smiled, hoping that Bad Anakin would always remain a suck shot.

He set the autopilot, mildly surprised that the bucket of bolts ship even _had_ an autopilot and ventured to find his wife. As soon as he opened the doors, he ran into a walking mass of red hair and venom. "Are all you Skywalkers this clumsy?" Mara Jade demanded, weaving around Anakin to access the cockpit.

"Mara Jade," Anakin said evenly, taking in his son's girlfriend. There was something strange about her, an air of secrecy shrouded in hostility. He could see why Luke wanted her; he wasn't blind for Force-sake. He had always invested trust in Luke and his affairs but Mara Jade made him more confused than Chewbacca singing Wookiee lullabies.

"In the flesh," she retorted, taking the pilot's seat usually reserved for Han. He admired her courage in doing so. "You may want to go visit that imposter wife of yours. I've been picking up on some interesting things going on in the discussion between her and your kids."

Luke had joined them too. _Traitor_. Momentarily abandoning his quest to re-marry Padmé, he took a moment to study Mara through the Force. She had a strong Force signature but it contained the distinct wild elements of an untrained Force-sensitive.

"So when I asked you if you were a Jedi you lied," he said wishing oh-so-much he could grip Stevie at this moment to show his clear Jedi superiority. "I can tell you're not trained."

"It was the truth from a certain point of view," Mara replied, working the controls to change it from autopilot to manual control. She was sneaky enough to be a Jedi.

"Why weren't you trained?" he asked curiously.

"Too old," she replied, clearly dissatisfied with the question. He didn't have time for more questions. And then Anakin Skywalker did something he would probably regret for a long time to come.

"I'd like to train you," he blurted out, startling both himself and Mara.

He caught a glimpse of both Good Anakin and Bad Anakin in a state of shock and an evil grin on Bad Anakin's imaginary face.

In theory it sounded like a good idea. Sort of.

Mara turned around slightly and he felt her seriously considering the offer. She looked at him and Anakin saw a hint of hope in her eyes. He fully expected a vicious retort but instead she said, "I'll think about it."

Trying to ignore the conflicting feelings of whether he had done something extremely noble or extremely stupid Anakin braced himself. It was time to face Padmé.

--

Anakin knew he was being discussed. He didn't use his Force-abilities but rather blatantly heard his name being tossed around. They must have momentarily forgotten he was the boss of the Skywalker family because they were certainly not saying very nice things. He forcefully opened the door and saw the "bantha in speederlights" look on Luke and Leia's faces. To her credit, Padmé only looked mildly irritated. Anakin maintained his "Daddy's just come home and isn't happy" stance. He tried to ignore the nervousness in his stomach. This is what being a married man—or a fake married man—did to a Jedi. He could take on a Sith Lord and decapitate him but when it came to matters of the heart he was reduced to a nervous boy blabbering about sand all over again.

"Children, your mother and I need to talk," he said. Leia had the nerve to glare at him as she squeezed her mother's hand and left the room. Luke gave a quick pat on the shoulder. _Good luck_. When the door hissed behind him Anakin fought the urge to gulp loudly. He was well and truly alone. At the moment he'd rather be locked in a dungeon with a Rancor than face the wrath of the Chancellor.

"Hello Padmé," he said.

Silence. Silence was better than yelling.

"Hello Anakin," Padmé finally sighed. Anakin walked over to her slowly, making sure not to make any quick or sudden movements. Obi-Wan had trained him well when it came to approaching wild beasts.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, sitting next to her on the bunk. He waited for the onslaught but it never came. The moment had come. Padmé was finally going to leave him. He would be the laughing stock of the entire galaxy. He could just see it now, Anakin Skywalker DUMPED. Padmé would finally be free and he would be alone and miserable with only Obi-Wan and Stevie to keep him company. He would be a single father. How would he cope with his children without her?

Then something unexpected happened.

"Anakin, do you still want to be married to me?"

Anakin suspected this was one of those trick female questions in which any answer, no matter how flattering, would still be interpreted as derogatory in some form. He would have to use all his strength to not get caught in the trap.

"Yes," he answered confidently, hoping there was no way she could misinterpret that.

"You're not just saying that because you think that's what I want to hear? Or because that's what is easy?" she continued.

He knew it was too much to ask for—crazy Padmé had returned with a vengeance.

"No Padmé, I really still want to be married to you. You have been my wife for twenty years and it's worked out okay."

_Smooth. _

"Ask me again," she said softly, looking at him. That was all the inspiration Anakin needed.

Gallantly, he got down on one knee. Instead of sprouting various romantic crap, like he had as a young boy, he simply kissed the back of her hand and removed the ring that already sat on her finger.

"Padmé, will you marry me?"

Ever the arrogant Jedi, he didn't even wait for her answer before unceremoniously shoving the ring back onto her finger and leaning up for a kiss that would have made his children vomit.

Things were going to be okay.

--

After convincing their kids that they kids should in no way feel obliged to accompany their parents back to Naboo, they organised for a Holy Man to meet them on the balcony overlooking the lake. Anakin had insisted he help Padmé "take care of things" and was pleasantly surprised when she did not cause a scene.

Her old wedding dress did not fit her so he had hidden it so it would not depress her. After twenty years of marriage, he knew enough to keep his own head above water. He spent his hard earned (_won during Sabacc)_ credits on an even better dress for her. Anakin himself felt like a boy of nineteen again and flexed his bionic arm. The last time his arm was made of cold metal and had looked skeletal. Now it looked like a normal arm with the added bonus of vibrating features.

He took her hand as they looked out at the sunset. "I have a surprise for you," Padmé said squeezing his bionic hand. He felt a momentary flash of panic. Not again...it wasn't possible.

"You're not..." he asked, barely able to get the words out. _Pregnant?_ He was going to faint.

"No," she replied and then he realised he had started breathing again. He was much too old to be a father again. "I will be making the announcement next week in the Senate. I am officially retiring from politics."

Retirement from politics did not just mean that Padmé would be able to take holidays whenever she felt like it. It also meant that Anakin would not have to go to various boring diplomatic affairs, pretend to enjoy arrogant Senators' company or dance with ugly slug-like aliens. It also meant Padmé would have lots of free time on her hands for previously restricted adult activities.

"Since you nobly offered to train our son's girlfriend," Padmé started, reminding Anakin of his temporary moment of insanity. "Perhaps we should stay on Coruscant for a while? Han and Leia will be there and Luke is often at the Jedi Temple too."

Anakin sighed as he kissed his wife against the Varykino backdrop. He felt the weight of Stevie on his belt and sighed in contentment.

Everything was just as it should be.

For the time being.


End file.
